Change of Plans...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love to plan for things. Part of the fun in getting to the end are the plans I get to make along the way. Brad loves to just take things day by day... I'm not going to lie... that is a bit of a struggle for me. Well, it seems the boys in my life are going to teach me how to overcome this struggle. Christmas break was great! I spent 3 weeks at home cleaning, organizing, planning for the upcoming months... As I was to find out a few days ago, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself. Plans change..........

Isn't he perfect!!! I love his little profile... he has the cutest little nose!

Seeing this little guy makes any changes to my plans completely worth it.
So, a rough weekend brought a visit to the doctor on Monday. I had an ultrasound about 6 weeks ago where I was diagnosed with a possible placenta previa. The doctor reassured me then that it very well could change over the next few months as things progress and won't be anything to worry about at all. I didn't give it too much thought and just "planned" that this would change and the pregnancy would go ahead as normal. The visit to the doctor this past Monday revealed that it in fact hasn't changed (in the way I had planned anyway)... in fact things have gotten a little more complicated.

Details: Placenta previa happens when the placenta attaches to the cervix as well as the wall of the uterus. Not so much a big deal until you go into labor and the cervix starts dilating. When the cervix begins to dilate, the placenta has nothing to attach to... and without getting too detailed, it's not good. So, the goal is to keep me from going into labor. This also means that I get to have a c-section. Because the placenta is covering the cervix it would have to be delivered before the baby, which is completely impossible... and again, without getting too detailed, is not good. Needless to say, a c-section is inevitable. I'm not too sure I like the thought of planning for a c-section. If there is one thing I would choose not to plan for, it would be this. Having months to think about it is pushing my nerves over the edge. After experiencing labor with my 3 daughters, I'm sad that I won't get to experience that (I can't believe I just said that either). I'm even more sad that Brad won't get to experience that. All things in perspective though... having my son arrive healthy and safe is all that truly matters.

The wrench: I started having contractions over the weekend. Yay (apologies for the sarcasm).

The plan: Making it to 36 weeks (April 1st rather than April 28th). The best possible way of this happening... bed rest. 21 hours a day of bed rest. 21 hours a day for the next 13 weeks. No cleaning (boo), no grocery shopping, no working out (no yoga), nothing strenuous... ugh. I've been given permission to go to school for 2 hours each day. Let's just say, this is the first semester that I am looking forward to having homework... looking forward to having something to do with my 21 hours other than sleeping. :)

The new plans: Sending my cute husband to the library with a list of books and magazines to check out. Catching up on photo albums, writing, blogs, getting creative with my new circumstances... I'm sure I'll come up with something.

Worries: Resisting the temptation to clean.... it's kind of hard being home all day and having to pretend that nothing needs to be done. Letting go.... letting other people do what I can't do at the moment. Avoiding depression.... if only my daughters or my husband could stay home and keep me company. Not having my mom around to talk to and help with things makes me even more sad... sigh...

Perspective: It's only for 3 months. And at the end of those 3 months I'll get to hold my little boy. There are blessings to be had when plans change......