Wednesday, May 9, 2012

timing is everything sometimes...

BYU Women's Conference was absolutely amazing this year!  And it came at the perfect time as well...
I'm anxiously waiting for transcripts to be available so I can re-read some of my favorite talks. {as a side note, it's well worth a visit to the site to check out past conference archives}

I think what I love the most about Women's Conference is the idea that over 15,000 women from all over the world come together in one common purpose.  That many women singing As Sisters in Zion is an experience like no other.  It's truly an awe inspiring moment! 
I really needed WC this year.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect for me.  It didn't take long for me to realize that the Lord really knows what I'm in need of hearing.  The very first speaker addressed 2 major things that had been weighing heavily on my mind for some time.

The first was the statement that children want a strong mother.  They want a mother that sets standards for them and sticks to it... without waffling.  Ugh... I can be a big waffler at times.  Resisting the urge to waffle is harder than it sounds.  It's even harder when the teenagers band together and gang up on me {this is when I waffle the most}.  It was slightly comforting hearing several thousand women start chuckling.  I'm not the only occasional waffler apparently! 
Being a parent is hard... being a good parent is even harder sometimes!  So, armed with new courage I came home and held a family meeting.  For as long as I can remember I've always had rules in our home about which television programs were okay to watch.  Before things got out of control and busy ( with the move and a new baby) I was very clear about what was and wasn't okay to watch.  Admittedly I had let things slip through the cracks over the past few months, and in all honesty I had waffled along the way quite a lot.  I geared up for my moment to prove I could set rules for my family and not waffle.  I explained to my older daughters that even though a tv rating says they are old enough to watch a certain program doesn't mean the program fits into the design of the lifestyle we are choosing to live in our home.  I openly explained that some shows bring a feeling into our home that I don't want in my home.  I know I can't protect them from what they are exposed to outside of our home, but it's completely my responsibility to be the good mom I know I am and protect them while they are at home!  Our home is supposed to be a safe haven from the world and certain programs leave my home feeling more like the world than I wanted.  I honestly was a little afraid of the reaction I was going to get from them, but surprisingly they agreed to follow the rules without an argument.  Oh my... could the speaker have been right about children WANTING mothers who set standards and stick to it?  I know it may seem a little trivial making a big deal about a few programs on tv, but I wanted to show my family (and mostly myself) that I can set standards and stick to it.  It has been well worth it... the feeling in our home has changed enough that both of my older girls have commented on the difference.  That truly was one of those happy mom moments.

The second was a statement about judging and grudging... and how as women we should support each other and work together to strengthen our homes and families rather than work against each other by judging and holding grudges.  Having just had a personal experience where I was the one being judged by another, this shook me up a little.  This has been quite a difficult experience for me honestly.  It's tough knowing that someone you are close to has been making judgments about you and thinking rather unkind things.  When you are the peacemaker type personality, my first reaction is to make things peaceful and happy... but I don't want to put myself in the position to be hurt the same way again.  This talk helped to change my view though.  The speaker helped me process the reality that as a woman and a mother it's completely okay to surround myself and my family with women who are uplifting, supportive and compassionate, and to forgive and let go of those who can't be that for me.  I learned that it doesn't make me a bad person for letting go of people who don't support me in being the best me that I can possibly be.  I can forgive without having to be close to this person anymore, and that's okay.  It's also okay to LOVE from afar for a while.  We don't always know the reason behind the actions of others... it's possible that a personal struggle in their life is unfairly being projected onto you, putting you (or me) in the crossfire.  You just never know.  {Apologies for the personal post}

The timing of WC was perfect.  These past 2 weeks since the conference have been a rejuvenating process for me and I am amazed at how quickly the rebuilding and repairing has been.  It's been enlightening.  As a creative person stress seems to have a huge impact in so many areas of my life sometimes.  When I'm stressed and have a lot on my mind, the creativity just doesn't seem to flow like it should.  I'm grateful that I'm beginning to feel like my creative self again.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  Maybe this will lead to an upcoming post involving creativity somehow.  Sigh......

1 comment:

Joanna said...

Thanks for sharing this. I really needed to hear the second part especially, as I've struggled trying to be the forgiver of someone that has been harsh to me, and let go, but struggling with how to let go and not embrace. I treasure you Heather. You are an amazing woman and example to me. xoxo.