Living in Limbo...

This whole house buying process has been, well, a process. I wish I could say it's been all sunshine and rainbows, but then where would the fun be in that!? It's so exciting to be venturing out into home ownership... and honestly, most of the time I'm very excited and optimistic! This is our 4th attempt at buying a home within the past year.

The first time was a few months before getting married and our lives were in too much of a transition, so we thought waiting a few months wouldn't be a big deal. Attempt #2 came last fall. We found a cute little house, put on offer on it and 2 days later Brad lost his job. Ugh. Attempt #3 came at the beginning of this year. All I did was call our loan officer to make an appointment to meet with him and the next day I ended up on bed rest in the hospital for the next 3 months. I finally resigned myself to the realization that things would happen for us when the timing was right. #4... I'm avoiding calling this time around an attempt. I'm being optimistic!

It's hard when you want something so badly that is so incredibly good for your family. Waiting for everything to finalize is SOOOO stressful! Living in limbo is not one of my strengths... definitely. We've cleaned out almost everything, packed up what we can live without for a while, and have even planned a yard sale. I feeling pretty good about what I've accomplished... now if we would only close on the house! Did I mention I'm not good with this whole living in limbo thing?

We knew from the moment that we drove up to this house that it was where we were suppose to live. We had done quite a lot of house hunting in the past year, so we were really aware of what we wanted and what we could afford. This house had a feeling that none of the other places had. We continued to look at a few more houses. Of course I was occasionally blinded by the house with the better floor plan, better yard, better this and that. But none of the other houses we found felt good inside and out... there was always something just a little off. I always kind of walked away feeling like I was being blinded by shiny objects and fluff that didn't matter. This house (that will hopefully be ours soon) has never had anything but good feelings about it. I'm holding onto those feelings through this process while trying to remain sane!

We were hoping to close this week, but we've hit a small bump in the road... again. Hopefully this is the last of the bumps and we can plan our move for next week. Keeping my fingers crossed...

...until then, I'm "learning" to live in limbo. :)

cataloging inspiration...

One of my favorite things about design school was creating resource binders. I LOVED resource binders because it was a system of cataloging and organizing things I loved to look at. If I was ever in need of design inspiration I cracked open one of my many binders. I love to inspire and be inspired... then add organization to the mix and I am in heaven! I was elated when I found a way to catalog and organize online. I am completely obsessed with this website... and if you are looking for a way to get organized, whether it's recipes you find online, books you want to read or craft projects you want to try, I highly recommend checking it out. What I love about it is this... say you find a recipe online that you'd love to try sometime... rather than print it out and file it in a recipe binder, you "pin" a photo of the recipe to your very own recipe board on the site. When you are ready to use that recipe, simply click on your "pin" and you'll be linked to the original recipe. As I said... I'm pretty much obsessed with it!

Here's what has been inspiring me lately...
(the someday when I get my pre-baby body back outfit)

Source: polyvore.com via Heather Anne on Pinterest

And this...
(yummy rug)

Source: thenester.com via Heather Anne on Pinterest

Oh and this...
(drooling over this cinnamon roll cupcake)

Source: foodfolksandfun.blogspot.com via Heather Anne on Pinterest

And this adorable thing...
(if only I knew how to knit... sigh)

Source: flickr.com via Heather Anne on Pinterest

And someday I want to do this to little Zachary's room...

Source: ohdeedoh.com via Heather Anne on Pinterest

I could go on and on. Get inspired...

melt my heart....

My sweet Kayla posted this on facebook a few weeks ago. Every mom in the world deserves to hear words like these from their children (especially the teenage variety). I'm one lucky mom, and even though I have my bad days this is exactly why I get up every morning...

you are the best mom in the world. 'nough said. you influence me for the better. you modivate me and encourage me to strive for goals higher than what i think i'm capable of. you make me turn my bad choices into better ones so i can make it in life. you give me strength and virtue. you are the best examle i wish to follow. i am very lucky to have a mommy like you. i love you mom.

Oh Happy Day!

If I've learned one thing it's this... blog about it and all the plans will change!
Baby Zachary joined our family a little earlier than we were planning. Oh happy day... he's here!

* He arrived March 21st (3/21 at 3:21 p.m.). He weighed 5lbs. 1/2oz. and was 18" long. *
He was born at 34.4 weeks

My sweet boy spent 11 days in the nicu... I guess I had it in my head that all of the tough stuff would end when the pregnancy was finally over... I was wrong. Baby Zach was about 24 hours old when his left lung collapsed. He was one tough little guy through the whole thing. The doctors let him work through it for about 8 hours to see if the lung would repair on it's own, but it didn't and in went the chest tube. The toughest part was not being able to hold our little baby while the chest tube was in... six incredibly looooong days. To my surprise I showed up one morning and the chest tube was gone along with the oxygen. The nurse asked me if I wanted to hold him and I just started sobbing (happy, relieved tears of course). If there was one thing I learned; babies can get sick really fast, but they can also get better quickly too. We went from him possibly coming home around Easter to him coming home in a few days... April 1st to be exact.

Lessons learned:

• I am so in love with this little guy.
• My sweet husband has an amazingly strong side I hadn't witnessed before.
• I NEVER want to have a c-section ever again.
• 3 months in bed = achy, sore muscles that don't want to work like they should.
• How quickly I forgot about the 3 previous months once I held little Zachary.
• How grateful I was for the couples who brought me the sacrament in the hospital every week.
• That you can make friends anywhere (even in a hospital).
• That all the stuff I worried about before going into the hospital really didn't matter that much after all.
• There is nothing like being at home with nowhere to go (and no desire to go anywhere).
• I love feeling like my family is whole.

3/21

3/24

3/26
3/27
4/1

I'm goin' home....

It's a DATE!

After 3 wonderful weeks at home I readmitted to the hospital. I wasn't the most compliant patient this time. I had gone in for my weekly doctors appointment and was told that I needed to admit to the hospital. I think I shocked the doctor when I declined. She kind of looked at me with a blank look on her face not knowing what to say next. She finally said that she couldn't force me to stay and sent me off for testing. So, off I went for my twice weekly non-stress test. That's when the "mom guilt" settled in... ugh. I recanted my earlier statements and willfully admitted to the hospital.

The light at the end of the tunnel...
My doctor knowing that I was struggling with the uncertainty of this entire pregnancy finally set a birth date for baby! So pending any further complications, baby boy Miller is scheduled to arrive on March 31st! Just having a plan had me jumping up and down (in my head of course). Oh happy day!!!

2 weeks from today.