the 'bachelor pad' table gets a makeover...

When Brad and I got married I 'inherited' this super fabulous coffee table.  I'll admit, I wasn't a fan.  I love wood furniture, but I'm a bit on the picky side.  If it isn't finished in a deep espresso finish I don't really want it in my house. {even if it's free!} :)  I do however love to get my hands on a great piece of furniture and transform it with my favorite medium... paint.  Paint seems to make everything better.  So once my husband relinquished his kung-fu grip on this blessed table, the design wheels began to turn.

The Plan:  something simple and inexpensive... bead board panels, bonding primer, a quart of honey colored paint, dark brown glaze {my own concoction}, and a polycrylic finish.
And the bachelor pad table gets a total overhaul makeover!  And in 2 days no less... which is pretty good with a newly walking, 14mo. old running around the house getting into everything.

in process

Ta-Da!  I am very happy with the finished look.  {it is the same table, I promise}

love the blue knobs

I paneled the three sides and left the front with the drawers open as a bookshelf.

 And added a little distressed effect for texture and dimension.

I've painted furniture for other people for years, but never for myself {I have no idea why}... well, here's to the first of many projects.  Maybe Brad has some more furniture in storage that I can paint!

timing is everything sometimes...

BYU Women's Conference was absolutely amazing this year!  And it came at the perfect time as well...
I'm anxiously waiting for transcripts to be available so I can re-read some of my favorite talks. {as a side note, it's well worth a visit to the site to check out past conference archives}

I think what I love the most about Women's Conference is the idea that over 15,000 women from all over the world come together in one common purpose.  That many women singing As Sisters in Zion is an experience like no other.  It's truly an awe inspiring moment! 
I really needed WC this year.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect for me.  It didn't take long for me to realize that the Lord really knows what I'm in need of hearing.  The very first speaker addressed 2 major things that had been weighing heavily on my mind for some time.

The first was the statement that children want a strong mother.  They want a mother that sets standards for them and sticks to it... without waffling.  Ugh... I can be a big waffler at times.  Resisting the urge to waffle is harder than it sounds.  It's even harder when the teenagers band together and gang up on me {this is when I waffle the most}.  It was slightly comforting hearing several thousand women start chuckling.  I'm not the only occasional waffler apparently! 
Being a parent is hard... being a good parent is even harder sometimes!  So, armed with new courage I came home and held a family meeting.  For as long as I can remember I've always had rules in our home about which television programs were okay to watch.  Before things got out of control and busy ( with the move and a new baby) I was very clear about what was and wasn't okay to watch.  Admittedly I had let things slip through the cracks over the past few months, and in all honesty I had waffled along the way quite a lot.  I geared up for my moment to prove I could set rules for my family and not waffle.  I explained to my older daughters that even though a tv rating says they are old enough to watch a certain program doesn't mean the program fits into the design of the lifestyle we are choosing to live in our home.  I openly explained that some shows bring a feeling into our home that I don't want in my home.  I know I can't protect them from what they are exposed to outside of our home, but it's completely my responsibility to be the good mom I know I am and protect them while they are at home!  Our home is supposed to be a safe haven from the world and certain programs leave my home feeling more like the world than I wanted.  I honestly was a little afraid of the reaction I was going to get from them, but surprisingly they agreed to follow the rules without an argument.  Oh my... could the speaker have been right about children WANTING mothers who set standards and stick to it?  I know it may seem a little trivial making a big deal about a few programs on tv, but I wanted to show my family (and mostly myself) that I can set standards and stick to it.  It has been well worth it... the feeling in our home has changed enough that both of my older girls have commented on the difference.  That truly was one of those happy mom moments.

The second was a statement about judging and grudging... and how as women we should support each other and work together to strengthen our homes and families rather than work against each other by judging and holding grudges.  Having just had a personal experience where I was the one being judged by another, this shook me up a little.  This has been quite a difficult experience for me honestly.  It's tough knowing that someone you are close to has been making judgments about you and thinking rather unkind things.  When you are the peacemaker type personality, my first reaction is to make things peaceful and happy... but I don't want to put myself in the position to be hurt the same way again.  This talk helped to change my view though.  The speaker helped me process the reality that as a woman and a mother it's completely okay to surround myself and my family with women who are uplifting, supportive and compassionate, and to forgive and let go of those who can't be that for me.  I learned that it doesn't make me a bad person for letting go of people who don't support me in being the best me that I can possibly be.  I can forgive without having to be close to this person anymore, and that's okay.  It's also okay to LOVE from afar for a while.  We don't always know the reason behind the actions of others... it's possible that a personal struggle in their life is unfairly being projected onto you, putting you (or me) in the crossfire.  You just never know.  {Apologies for the personal post}

The timing of WC was perfect.  These past 2 weeks since the conference have been a rejuvenating process for me and I am amazed at how quickly the rebuilding and repairing has been.  It's been enlightening.  As a creative person stress seems to have a huge impact in so many areas of my life sometimes.  When I'm stressed and have a lot on my mind, the creativity just doesn't seem to flow like it should.  I'm grateful that I'm beginning to feel like my creative self again.  The timing couldn't have been more perfect.  Maybe this will lead to an upcoming post involving creativity somehow.  Sigh......

snap my picture... if you can.

Thinking happy thoughts lately...

I came across these pictures from last summer of my teenagers.

Taking pictures of these two is such a 'task'...

but it makes me smile like nothing else!

They are quite the characters and I love them. (:

starting out ok...

Kayla's many dramatic faces are beginning to surface...

pouting!?!?

scrunching!?!?

idk!?!?

Cammy gets bored and begins eating her sister's hair???

I have no words...

We're pretty funny for not letting mom take a decent picture of us...

Ta Da...

I kind of like who I am... most days :)

I came across this article last week and it really got me thinking. It's one of those articles that's a little sad in a way, but incredibly true... and then I remembered this talk by President Uchtdorf from the October 2011 Relief Society general session of General Conference, which I thought went along nicely with the subject.

Articles like this seem to be everywhere these days, and it's sad to think that so many women out there are feeling so much pressure to be everything to everyone, all the time. (I'll admit, I get caught up in this from time to time).  The article talks about seeing what others do on Pinterest and Facebook and blogs etc... which then leads to feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate.  It's funny, for me, Pinterest and Facebook don't do this to me.  For me Pinterest is purely inspirational, and Facebook, well, I don't get on fb all that often, but I do occasionally love to catch up with friends that don't live so close anymore.  I do know however that design blogs, craft blogs, and certain tv programs (design and diy related) tend to leave me feeling a little 'depressed'.  I know this about myself though and know that I'm just better off not venturing into that world.  So with a little (or a lot) of self discipline, I do my best to just stay away from those things.

I do have to wonder why though; why do we waste our precious time cataloging our flaws, weaknesses and inadequacies?  And who's to say that because you don't have an immaculate, neatly decorated home with gourmet meals gracing your dinner table nightly, all while juggling a career and family, with 10 diy projects happening at once, that you are in any way inadequate? It may be what someone somewhere considers underachieving, but let's be realistic... it's really not... realistic, that is!
For me the key is finding my authentic me... I kind of like who I am (most days :) )...

About a year and a half ago I was having a particularly tough day.  It was one of those days when every little thing seemed to be a huge ordeal.  Day upon day of upset and frustration had built up to this moment of feeling completely unhappy, overwhelmed and inadequate.  I was very aware of everything I was doing wrong.  One evening during a 'complaint session' to my husband, he asked such a simple question; "well, what makes you happy?"... I honestly didn't know at that moment.  In fact, if remember right, I got frustrated with him and told him to go away.  It was such a simple question, but so hard to answer at that moment.  I had spent so much time focusing on everything I was failing at, that I had forgotten about all I had accomplished.  I had forgotten about the happy little things that make me truly feel good at the end of the day.  His simple question just wouldn't leave me alone, so I got out a notebook and pen and made a list.  I know, it seems silly to make a list of what makes a person happy, but I love lists and knew that if I were going to get this question off of my mind it would have to make its way onto a list.  This list really helped me clear through all the junk that had cluttered my life, and helped me refocus my energy into what truly matters to me.  I've kept that list to this day.  My list makes no mention of losing 10lbs, finishing the basement, organizing my closet, planning some big party or making scrapbooks for all of my kids.

My authentic me finds happiness in cuddling with Krystian reading a book, pouring through paint swatches, tickling Zachary's tummy, teasing my husband, checking my daughter out of school for a 'dr. appt.' and taking her to lunch instead (yes, I'm a rebel, I know), girls nights, rearranging furniture, sketching for hours, and on and on...

President Uchtdorf said it best in his talk... "Never stop striving for the best that is within you.  Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart.  But don't close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day's ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life".

Zach Attack {a year in review}...

It's hard to believe that just a year ago I was just becoming the mother of a son.  This sweet little boy arrived  nearly 7 weeks early and I wasn't completely prepared for the weeks that he spent in the nicu.  Not sure anyone can really prepare for that experience.  Needless to say, with a lot of prayers and unbelievable support from friends and family we made it through and little Zachary came home a lot sooner than expected.  

As I was to discover, this little boy was born a fighter.  Within a few  hours of coming into this world his lung collapsed... he then got pneumonia and his other lung collapsed, but miraculously repaired itself (post priesthood blessing).  I had a testimony of the power of the priesthood prior to this, but gained a whole new confirmation that day.  His little scar from the chest tube reminds me everyday how precious motherhood really is.  He truly is our little miracle!

Just a few months old... chunky, active, bright-eyed, and oh-so-kissable.  There is nothing in life quite like a little boy!

Almost a year old... constantly on-the-go, little brother, a healthy 5th% for weight and 75th% for height, bottomless pit, good sleeper, over-all happy-go-lucky little boy.

Little boy Zachary... Happy 1st Birthday!  You are so loved!!!